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Instructions: Take one crazy American guy with one-arm, add one cute Japanese girl with a temper, shake well in a beach-buggy across Africa and what do you get?
- A Recipe for Disaster!
Or… a great new documentary film about love, life, and a complete lack of reason. Action, adventure, romance, and the meaning of life, all come together in this highly entertaining and politically incorrect documentary.
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Welcome to redbuggy.com. Here you can follow the adventures of our movie makers as they pilot their tiny beach-buggy 30,000 miles overland from Sweden to South Africa and beyond! Yoshiko and Tom weather the elements and meet the people. They experience everything from close encounters with big-game to a death-defying illegal entry into Sudan. And the only thing more challenging than keeping the car together turns out to be keeping its occupants together...
There is no additional camera crew, no follow vehicles, and no support team of any kind! From soldiers with AK-47's to irate elephants - our intrepid travelers go it alone. Through the tears and the mind-boggling physical challenges, Yoshiko and Tom keep their camera rolling.
Keep updated by joining our mailing list now. The film is completed and due for release in 2009!
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The Sun is Setting on the Zambezi;
and on my African Adventure...
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Date: Friday, April 24th, 2009
Time: 2:30 PM (14:30)
Place: Chobe National Park, Botswana
Weather: Hot and Occasionally VERY Wet
Temperature: 33° Celsius, 91° F
Enviroment: Jurassic Parkish
Buggy Condition: Parked in Florida
Tom's Condition: Anxious About Film Distribution
Mercy's Condition: Pretty & Employed
Equipment Condition: Very Worn
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Dogs love me; even if I ignore them they adopt me. I'm less certain about how God feels about me; or me about Him. I'm not an atheist, in fact the more I understand about life the less likely it seems that it is all just an elaborate chemical accident. But I agree with comedian Bill Maher; religion is unnecessary bureaucracy between God and Man.
The trick when your raft flips in category five rapids in Central Africa is to keep your body slightly fetal and your feet forward to cushion impacts with boulders. Despite violent choking from inhaled water it is imperative to stay focused on details like where your paddle is and where the crocodiles are. Once through the worst turmoil make a mad swim for the boat and hope you get it righted before the next set of rapids is upon you. Of course you have a professional guide along. Unfortunately ours lost her helmet when we flipped. She was knocked semi-conscious and had her hands full keeping herself alive. I was right in my element; but rafting the Zambezi just below Victoria Falls will put the fear of God into most people.
And God created women...
The idea behind this last trip to Africa was to import Mercy to St. Croix and live happily ever after. But Mercy is a female and, well... I'm not. We have begun to argue. In our case enormous cultural differences exacerbated the regular challenges of a relationship and in the end proved too great. So instead of taking her away with me I helped her to find a job and now she is on her own. An employed high-school graduate is not the worst thing one can be in Zambia and with her looks she won't remain single any longer than she chooses. I on the other hand - no pun intended - am an ageing and unemployed vagabond with a passion for beautiful young women. I may be alone for a very long time.
Alone and waiting... the bane of all entrepreneurs. I am waiting to attend film-festivals that we may never get accepted to. If we do get accepted we might not win any notoriety. If we win notoriety we won't necessarily find distribution. If we find distribution it may not be significant enough to secure me financially or inspire a sequel. So really I am waiting for a break, what every new filmmaker needs; that chance encounter that changes one's destiny forever.
I'm not completely idle; I'm concluding things with Mercy here while a big studio is polishing the film's soundtracks in South Africa. I've helicoptered over Victoria Falls and rafted one of the world's greatest white-water rivers. Now I'm in Botswana camping with lions and elephants again; I even got charged by a buffalo! I'm hitch-hiking back to Cape Town to lock the audio on the final film and prepare high-quality copies for the festivals. From South Africa I'll return to the Buggy in Florida. Then by summer, hopefully, the festival circuit starts for me. It could be exciting with celebrity parties and media attention; like my radio days but without the cash - unless 'Adventuress' sells...
I had a dream...
There was a small party in a house down the street from where I grew up. Some exotic cars and a huge guy in a suit with an ear-piece told me this was no ordinary gathering. A guy on the street said Oliver Stone was previewing his new film for Quentin Tarantino and a few other directors; my heart skipped a beat - was this my big break? I walked straight up to the security guy shook his hand firmly and said;
- Hey man, Oliver and Quentin here yet? Did I miss the beginning of the show?
He stared at me for a long moment, and then jerked his head towards the door. I remained calm and sauntered in towards a simple TV room. It could have been regular guys watching a football match at half-time but it wasn't. It was some of the biggest film directors in the world taking a bathroom break during a private screening. I sat on a couch diagonally opposite Tarantino who was alone in the room. He sized me up curiously. I had to play my cards just right.
- How's the film look so far?
- Who wants to know?
- Sorry, I'm Tom. I'm a filmmaker too. Well, not like you guys, I've just finished a feature documentary. I'm a huge fan of Pulp Fiction by the way...
He looked unmoved, got up, and left - there went my big chance. In a matter of seconds security would be here to throw me out. I had started to rise when Quentin flopped back down on his sofa, popped open two cold beers, and handed me one.
- So what's your docky about Tom?
- Me and a cute Japanese girl drove a beach-buggy across all of Africa.
- No Shit? An African road movie, cool!
- On the surface it's a road movie slash adventure film slash travelogue, but really it's a love story.
- And it's completely finished?
- Completely. And it's good. I've got a DVD in my pocket. But I'm having trouble finding distribution.
- Shit man if it's any good I'll make a few calls for you. The other guys are going to piss themselves, a fucking beach-buggy across Africa! We'll play it right after Oliver's flick. I got to go tell them man; I'll be back in a minute.
And that was that. Quentin Tarantino and Oliver Stone were going to screen my movie and I knew they would like it. They'd make a few calls and 'Adventuress' would be distributed. Destiny had smiled upon me and nothing would ever be the same. I actually stood in their living room in blissful disbelief pondering the fickleness of fate...
Then I woke up.
If 'Adventuress Wanted' finds major distribution I'll be rich and famous again. If it doesn't I'll be a bum with a DVD in his pocket. 2009 is a decisive year for me but if I think too much about it my brain will explode. So for now I just work on my tan, send out the occasional DVD screener, flirt with girls, and try not to think about a potentially very lonely future.
Maybe I'll get a dog.
Pictures:
1) Such a pretty thing - Mercy will be missed.
2) This elephant pondered charging my tiny Fiat...
3) And this buffalo DID charge my tiny Fiat!
4) So I stopped for a couple of cold Botswanan beers...
5) And pondered the Meaning of Life; dung beetles fighting over... dung.
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